Introduction

Dear Friends and Members,

This booklet contains information, which we trust will make the experience of your preparing to become Bar/Bat Mitzvahmore meaningful and guide you through the process we follow here at Central Synagogue. In order to set the context for it all we want you to know what a wonderful experience a family’s celebrating a Bar/Bat Mitzvah can be. Our people have noted the journey of a Jewish child towards adulthood and for centuries have bestowed the occasion with great meaning and ritual.

The origins of a child becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvahare based in the legal emergence of a 13-year-old boy into legal adulthood. After a young man’s thirteenth birthday he was able to read from the Torah, a legal right reserved only for adults. He was also legitimately counted as part of a minyan, was encouraged to marry, earn a living and raise a family. Though girls were not afforded the right to read from Torah, they were granted legal rights of maturity at age twelve.

While we realize that the legal stature of becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah(note the terms are nouns and should not be used as verbs such as in the phrase “to be Bar/Bat Mitzvah”) no longer has significant impact, the occasion still contains a tremendous affirmation of continuity. We look forward to discussing the meaning when we meet.

We attach great importance to these celebrations and take seriously both the preparation and the commitments we ask of our students. No one would expect to end his/her formal secular education at age 13; neither should we think of this process as an end. Rather, becoming an acknowledged son or daughter of our people is a window opening to a lifetime of Jewish learning. It would not be fair to expect adults to function well with a 13-year-old’s knowledge of Judaism; the most difficult religious issues need ever greater maturity for discussion. Please be assured that we will work closely with you to answer questions you may have and that during the process of a child’s preparation, your family will meet privately with one of our Rabbis and with the Cantor.

The following pages provide a road map both to the schedule and to the people you can contact if you have questions. Of course, please feel free to contact any of our clergy for counsel or guidance.

We look forward to a wonderful and rewarding family celebration.

Peter J. Rubinstein
Senior Rabbi

Sons and daughters are given to us that we may care for them and help them grow. Care and sustenance are not just physical, but include hope and faith. In this sense, parents are partners with God in the creating of life and in giving meaning and value to it. Jewish parents are teachers too - they want their children to learn the meaning of life and to feel the presence of God. This is the purpose of Jewish education; children joining as partners with parents in passing down our Jewish heritage. To stop growing is to stop living. Jewish education is the means by which the spirit of the individual is helped to grow and mature.

Bar/Bat Mitzvah, meaning “son/daughter of the Commandments,” cannot claim ancient origins. There is not a hint of it in the Torah, but the Talmud says that 13 is the age “for the fulfillment of the Commandments.” Children were denied the privilege of observing the commandments until they were 13, and so these became the central features of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah observance.

The actual ceremony of becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is included in the ritual of regular community Shabbat services. The student shows that he/she is prepared to take on responsibilities in Jewish life when he/she reads from Torah and leads the congregation in worship, thus demonstrating his/her learning and familiarity with our tradition. The religious service is the central feature of the occasion. Becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah bestows no magical and instant transformation. At age 13 our children are still children, and will remain so for years to come. A Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrates the process of becoming a Jewish adult committed to observing mitzvot. It takes guidance from parents and many years of learning to accomplish this goal. But it is a goal within the reach of our children and one worth striving for.

In earlier times, the celebration of this occasion took place in the student’s home where a modest meal was served after the service in the synagogue. With the passage of time, the festive family grew into a party, and sometimes banquets were held in public halls. We encourage dignified celebrations, so that festivities will not dwarf the religious significance.

The Religious School, Rabbis, Cantor, and tutors appointed by the Cantor provide the preparation, but the parents’ help is essential. Parents should motivate their children properly for study, encourage excellence in their activities, attend worship services with their child, and arrange the celebration itself in accordance with the religious spirit of the occasion. While a student is studying for this important religious life cycle event, parents should take to heart their own obligations as Jews. Likewise, parents should never give students an indication that Bar/Bat Mitzvah is the end of their religious education. It is properly only the beginning.

“At every stage in life, in personality and character development, at which a person is beginning to search for his or her own unique, personal, individual identity, Judaism had the genius to distinguish that person by name, call that person by name out of the congregation. We call the person by their Hebrew name as well, linking Jewish identity with personal identity and with a sense of wider purpose: with a community beyond the individual self. We link this sacred Jewish observance with family, with life, with expressions of congratulations and appreciation for the child, and provide the person with a sense of self worth.

“Let us show by the way we celebrate Bar/Bat Mitzvah, by the dignity, the beauty, and the warmth of the observance, as we practice it, that we, too, are continuing in the way of the beat of our ancestors going back to Abraham and Sarah.
Ours is the task of restoring and maintaining the true luster to this jewel of ours in the treasure of Judaism.”
Rabbi Herbert Bronstein, Bar Mitzvah and Idolatry